A time to be still

Over the last few weeks, a Praying Mantis has crossed my path or made an appearance in my house a number of times, and then I just happened to see courtesy of social media that other people have experienced the same! The Praying Mantis represents peace, calm, stillness. They signify a time of contemplation, meditation – a time to go within and be still, centre and ground oneself. Exactly what the universe is asking of us right now.

Who would’ve thought that 2020 would bring one of the biggest global challenges to endure in decades?  Nothing in life should be taken for granted, just as nothing in life is an accident in my view.  Many of you will be asking ‘why’? Could you feel this coming, or at least something coming, an energy building all around us? I think if we look within, many would have felt this creeping up on us, but with no idea or sense of how this energy was going to present itself.

Our world, planet earth, the universe has spoken. It said I’m done, I’ve had enough – you’re not listening so I will have to take matters into my own hands, and then it pulled the rug out from under us. Most of us have listened, heard, stood up, and asked what we need to do and here in New Zealand, we’ve done it.  We’ve stopped. No travel by plane or sea and limited by car too. No mindless shopping for non-essentials, no going out for takeaways, for dinners in beautiful restaurants, no cafés, no bars, no sporting events (yikes). So many businesses have had to close doors, everyone that is listening is hunkering down – re-inventing how you work and live and learning to co-exist with partners, family, friends and animals 24/7. Some are learning to be on their own. Suddenly there’s no point in worrying about time and money – we’re all in this. We can choose to see it as an inconvenience, or we can choose to view it as a gift. A blessing.

Use this as a time of retreat and regeneration. There is only one way out and that is through. Submit, surrender and retreat. Use this wonderful opportunity to reflect on your journey, to take stock and to check in with yourself. Use this gift wisely, value the time given, restore your energy levels, centre and ground yourself. Recall the times in the past when you have said “If I had the time I would…” What might that be? Write goals, write a book, write a letter/email to someone you’ve been thinking of but haven’t had time to do.

This is a time of healing for the earth and for each and every soul. It is a time for patience and strength, for being like the Praying Mantis – be still – and for digging deep to find your way as an individual, as a country and community – when we emerge out the other side we can feel refreshed and look forward.

This will pass, it is just a blip in time, but what a significant blip.

Life is death and rebirth, and yes there will be heartache and grief. But to live life is to experience grief, and for each of us we know not when it is our time, but our time is and will be perfect. It’s how we do this journey that makes the difference for each one of us every day. Find your courage and your inner peace.  Walk forward with patience and trust enough embrace the stillness.

In love and light

Rosemary

 

 

 

 

Disruption

Image result for Pictures of Disruption - nature

At the beginning of each year, when I pick up with my clients, almost immediately a clear underpinning theme or energy makes itself known that will affect our journey ahead for the year to come.  Some years gone by it has been careers, finances, relationships, separation and divorce, or health and death.

To be honest, I don’t give it too much thought when I start out the year; as it’s just something that has a way of making itself known and shows it’s face!  This year, 2019, is no exception.  This year is all about disruption.

Everywhere I turn, each client I talk with, there is disruption.  Unplanned events or little challenges arising from what we might describe as ‘ out of left field’ coming at us from every which way.  When I say “disruption”, don’t automatically think negatively either. While, yes, there might be some events that you could or would class as negative, there is a lot of positive disruption too.  It will come in many guises and as a result, the need going forward until the end of 2019 is for flexibility.  If you have travel plans all locked and loaded and suddenly bad weather kicks in, or there is a mechanical fault with the plane and your flights are delayed, don’t fret, roll with the disruption and accept that things don’t always go to plan.  If you have your week mapped out, your work schedule all lined up with the boxes ticked, and your Monday rolls around and people are cancelling their appointments, or delayed in traffic, or at home unwell, or your child is sick and can’t go to school or day care, just roll with it.

What is there to learn from this you might ask? It makes us reflect on how well we deal with or accept the disruption and roll with it.  Do you get annoyed and rant and rave and throw your toys? Or do you take a breath and go, okay, this is completely out of my control, I will adapt as best I can and take it on with good grace and a smile and open myself up to becoming more flexible and amenable.  This, I believe, is the lesson.

This is when the real test comes.  The test of faith and trust that your God and your guides always act for your higher good and that nothing but the best outcome will prevail – sometimes we learn the most from what we consider to be the worst of situations.

As a country we have seen the worst of the worst in terms of disruption this year – especially for those living in the Christchurch community and all those associated with these families across the world.  No words can describe the loss, heartache, or the fear.  However, when I look and observe how our community, our people, our country stepped up at that time, it fills my heart with love and gratitude.  Disruption? Yes. Have we risen above the hate? Yes.  Do I feel grateful? Yes.

Whatever it is that comes your way this year in the way of disruption, take time out, step back from it when you are ready and able, and ask yourself – What has this taught me? And in what way can I adapt to make this the best that it can be?

 

Just a matter of time…

I have been contemplating time this week, and why it affects us all in many different ways.  One thing I have come to know, and something I tell my clients, is that there is no right or wrong time, there is only your time.  Life, and the world around us, tends to put us under pressure – the pressure to achieve what we think we “should be” doing or where we “should be” at. We look at what our friends, family and peers are doing with their lives and we compare. You may be looking for a special person to share life with, and it may seem like everyone around you is falling in love, getting married, setting up house, having babies; all of these big life decisions. The trick is to not let yourself get tricked into thinking that’s where you should be at, or feeling like you should be on that train! Remember, you’re on your own path, don’t compare yourself to others and just take one step at a time and one day at a time. Rather than lusting after outcomes, steadily work towards the little goals and then the larger ones, never doubting that you will achieve everything you dream of, but in your own time.

There is a plan for each and every soul, some know their plan from the very beginning of the journey until their time here is done.  Others find their way slowly and steadily.  If we listen to our inner voice, our connection with our higher self and trust what we feel, it will give us the assurance that we need in relation to the timing of the things and what we want to achieve.  Delays are always for a reason, and impatience can cause us to trip and fall – remember the mistake will be repeated until the lesson is learnt.  Rather than forcing an outcome through impatience, listen to your inner voice, your gut feeling, and trust.  If we don’t know the answer or which way to turn, that is our Guides way of telling us the time isn’t quite right yet, there is more to be shown. Events will come to pass that we haven’t even considered or seen yet.

Journey image

Sometimes it may feel like two steps forward and then two or three backwards, but eventually the right time will come and life will unfold before us.  Life can be like the ebb and flow of the tide, we have periods where there is an abundance of all things and everything goes according to the “plan” but then we have times when it feels like there is nothing there and we can’t see when it’s time for things to change.  There is nothing surer than it will change, time will move forward, exactly at the right moment and when it’s meant to!

Our Guides always act for our higher good, if we have asked for their help, set out our dreams and goals and they know where we want to go, they will do everything in their power to get us there at the right time.  Be clear, be still, and wait. Your time will come.    

“The capacity to grieve is as much a part of us as the capacity to love…”

Grief

Over the years, I have met with many clients who have, or are, experiencing grief.  A happy and excited expectant mother getting a step closer to the birth of her long-awaited baby only to have it abruptly swept away from her. The helplessness she feels at the loss, feeling completely overwhelmed with the lack of understanding and why this happened.  Constantly asking herself what she did wrong when, in fact, fact she did nothing wrong.  Trying her best to come to terms with the loss and progress with her life and still feeling alone and like no one understands.

What about a mother and wife who loses her husband and then her son to suicide. It’s incomprehensible to even try to imagine how she feels and where she would find the answers she’s looking for, as well as the support and comfort needed to come to terms with her loss and then to start working through her grief.

These are just a couple of examples of stories I have heard, alongside of many others. Unfortunately, where there is life there is grief. For some, it comes very early in life, for others much later, and just maybe there are some out there who never experience it at all.  Mentioning the word “Grief”, the responses are many and varied from each soul. So how does one help and support or how does one work through whatever it is that causes them pain? I believe each soul has the strength to work through their pain, it may never leave you, but it will change and eventually it will become a part of your life and go into making you especially who you are.

Many of us will experience some type of grief during the course of our journey. We have grief with death and dying, losing those we love so dearly we can’t imagine life without them, we have grief from losing a job, a friend, a lover or partner, a pet, a mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter.  We suffer grief over our relationships, be it a relationship with a partner or a family or friend relationship.  Relationships bring us tests and challenges, some of which are not so easily resolved. We can also suffer grief through health issues that affect our way of being and living and we have grief, sometimes on a daily basis, with the daily challenges of living.

Grief does not discriminate who we are or what we do; But it is here to teach us.  We learn to be more caring, more compassionate. We learn patience, tolerance, understanding. It helps us not to pass judgement, because you may not know a person’s story and what has gone into making them the way they are. Some people will put up huge barriers as a result of experiencing a loss – that is their way of protecting themselves from further pain.

Many people go through life keeping their pain well hidden and just in “coping” mode, trying to put on a brave face to the outside world, intending for people to think they have it all together and that life is all good. While there are times when we do have to keep it together, while we work away at our chosen profession or fulfilling other responsibilities, at some point grief needs to be addressed, pulled up from the depths of where you have stuffed it down, telling yourself that it’ll get better sooner or later – or not!

Because grief comes in many guises and often very unexpectedly, it can leave us in a state of shock and completely unprepared for the effects of it. As a result, we can feel bereft of the skills or strength needed to deal with it. There is no right or wrong way to do grief – there is only your way.  What works for one may not work for another. What is important, is to acknowledge it and feel it, no matter how painful and debilitating it may be.  The more it is pushed down the stronger it will get – the only way out is through.  It’s important for you to work out what is your way of grieving.  Is it to pull down all the blinds, shut the world out and take yourself to bed where you spend a day, a week or a month crying and wailing, screaming and shouting, telling the world how unfair it all is.  Or is it to acknowledge your pain and loss and then to find yourself a cause or a project to immerse yourself to help others in pain – often when we are in pain and we use the energy to help others it magically gathers an energy of its own and you find yourself healing through your compassion.   Is it that you need to find someone, a friend a colleague, a counsellor, where you can talk about your pain and slowly but surely work through all the emotion that you have felt unable to deal with.

If you find yourself supporting someone on their journey through grief, don’t be fearful or think you can’t help.  Just be there, listen to them, ask what if anything they would like from you, but being there first and foremost, sometimes without words being spoken, is enough.

For those of you working through your grief, please know that you are not doing this journey alone, you do have the strength and wisdom to work through your pain. Treat yourself with care, love, patience – one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, and slowly but surely you will find your way.  However you decide to deal with your grief, remember to be patient with yourself and the path you are currently on.  It will feel like a roller coaster ride at times, with some days better than others or some weeks better than others.  Do not have high expectations of yourself in regard to how long it will take, what takes one person a few months may take another a few years, there is no rule or right and wrong here, there’s only your way!